Colors Regained

I’m not giving up each morning I burn a blaze for her and each night I must stifle those flames, so as not to be consumed by my own fiery heart. I only wish I could see her smile and know she is well. I worry every day she is away, I know we must scrape our knees and truly learn what it means to bleed. However we need not go through this pain alone. We need not suffer this sustained longing for home expecting things to change with no water to grow. For excepting a helping hand does not make us weak. A heart, its beat the love we shared was more than just a little neat. This battle fought to suffer alone for the sake of growth is a battle lost as time we could share slips away. For if we seek to suffer we shall pay its cost never knowing what we’ve truly lost. Her time with me and mine with her was no mistake. We loved, we fought, we grew, we lost but through and through our love proved true. But blending with those of discontent left our vibrant pictures grey and bland. Laughter replaced now by tears and love now falling on deafened ears. As words left unsaid tear at our hearts a chance is given for a brand new start. Color regained and through solace reformed we can lift up our love and start it a new or let lie what we try to convince our hearts to deny. For fear to misunderstand words which have yet to be said. Shall we run, shall we hide, or maybe we shall finally fly. Hands out stretched reaching for that which we know for truth. Stopped and blocked by those who drew near claiming to understand the stories of two souls set ablaze by desires unleashed. A part of me, a part of her, we have the key we have the lock all that’s left is to turn the key and start the clock,  to unlock what was once thought lost, but forever sought.


Pages Turn

I know our book smells the same so your worried you already know it, but you know the wonders of a book go beyond its smell, beyond its feel, beyond the number of its pages; each time you read it you understand more and gain a new appreciation for it. It’s up to you whether we turn the page of our book to get to the next chapter or drop the book before it’s finished because the summary of another caught your eye. I know you can’t see the ending of our book right now and reading a sad story breaks your heart, but I can promise you if you turn the page you’ll see the wonderful world you always believed was there. That you didn’t read this far in to be disappointed. I’ve read our book before a long time ago in my dream when I choose you to be the muse of my soul over another. Yes there are different stories we can read and write, each invoking hidden, lost or forgotten feelings, but I know you know the feeling of finishing a great book you believed in no matter how people criticized it and made you feel. To find you weren’t wrong or disappointed, so I ask you with all that I am, with all that we’ve shared and have yet to experience to turn this next page with me & you’ll see you really are reading a beautiful book, and not a tragedy. Even the main characters always have room to grow in a good book so will you grow with me as our pages turn.
(A vow to my heart a drift at sea may the waves carry my message to you and guide you home)

Ocean Bound

Hope is a word I nearly forgot the meaning of, as I sank deeper into the depths of a sea I once called home. My lungs stripped of the ability to breathe in this sea I love, leaving me to drown, in this place I could not escape from nor did I wish too. With only sheer will some how managing to keep me conscious as feeling faded from my body. Sound and sight growing ever dim. Just as the last wisp of my strength began to fade the ocean, or maybe the world, decided to bless me with one more breathe.  A single bubble floating from the depths of the sea in which I slowly sank floated up to me. As the bubble floated to me for the first time I allowed myself to sink in hopes I reached this bubble that might not even be air before it was too late. As I sank further into the abyss slowly getting closer and closer to the bubble I wondered if I or it would pop before I reached it. This fragile bubble floating towards the surface in this great expanse of an ocean. When at last the moment of truth arrived, just as I was moments away from the bubble, I released the last bit of air in my lungs which there was barely enough of to even call a release. It was more likely my soul would leave me before the last of the air did. I leaned forward into the oncoming bubble knowing this was the moment that would decide if I sank or swam. Upon making contact I took a deep breathe in, and to my dismay I found the bubble contained liquid not even a gas. Was this it? Was this how I went? Without the ability to even let out a whimper. As the liquid filled my lungs a mixture of sweet relief that my struggle was over and silent terror as I realized that there was no undoing what I did and all those chances, maybes and might have been meant nothing now if I was not around to take them. As the cold set in my body felt like it was freezing all the way to its core.  This was it I thought. Regret had started filling my mind when suddenly it stopped. I opened my eyes, and I blinked. I was still alive, but I wasn’t breathing. Before I could even find myself pondering the question, “How can this be?” I found I myself swimming towards the depths. Toward the origin of the bubble. I knew I was far too deep to attempt to swim to the surface of this sea. I still didn’t wish to leave. My only chance lied deep within the recesses of this ocean. Far deeper than I, or the ocean itself was even aware it went. Perhaps even to its origins. If there was even a chance that I could call this place home again I would do what ever it takes. So before this spell breaks, and my end comes to greet me, I will continue to struggle in hopes that I reach this perhaps fictional place in the sea where I can still live and breathe in this place I once called home.

Lonely Light

Each day you’re away my soul shatters a little more as I try to keep my heart at Bay. Each time I must reach deep within to feel a little less alone again. To remind myself it’s not the end. But the deeper I go the more I find my soul entwined with a love so rich it feels divine. With love like this you’ll never crave again. But to have such wealth to share yet alone I am contrary to my plan. It hurts to know you won’t take a stand beside the one you called your man. Yet here I toil away to face you the one I call my love one day. Till than I shall forever stand waiting for three words from you to set me free and set ablaze our life again perhaps you know them as well as I. These three words from you will let us fly. 

Phone Call

P1: = Partner 1  P2: = Partner 2

P2: *Click* *muffled sound*

P1: Hello? It’s me.

P2: *Silence*

P1: I just called today to say I love you.

P2: *Silence*

P1: I know you may not still feel the same way, but still I love you all the same. I know no matter what I do I may never get you to look at me like you used too. Not to say I wish for things to go back to being the same way. No, I want more I want to expose and explore new unknown depths of the soul to go deeper in depth to the beauty that lies inside. To entwine our souls so intricately we nearly lose sight of where you begin and I end, but not so much that we lose track of who we are within.

P1: I want to fall in love with you all over again and again. Each day to grow and explore new sides of ourselves finding out not just who we are, but who we can become as we walk down a path of love so bold and strong none can tell us we’re wrong. I want to look in your eyes and bring tears to them as you feel the warmth of my blazing heart envelope your soul in a flame so warm never again will you know what it means to cold. If I may be so bold to put it simply I want to love you till our days of grey and old.

P2: *Silence*

P1: I know you ask yourself why do I only say all this now that you’ve gone away. It’s not that I’m saying this because you’ve gone away, I’ve been saying these things all along the way. I was just using different words and different actions and had yet come to fully understand my own heart. But just like I promised you on that day I would learn to redirect my energy in a new way and so back to life I sprung. It took time and pain to reawaken something I thought was lost this language of the heart and the words I’ve sought have finally come hand in hand so at last my love won’t be lost in translation for I can speak now in words you can understand. I love you with all that I am and all that I will become. I wish to not just stand as a man before you but stand up as a man who you feel is worth being a part of your plan. 

P2: *Silence*

P1: It’s not like I miss you only on certain days. I count every second that your away. Hoping someday I can stop counting and share with you all the things I’ve had planned for two. Each morning I rise your absence brings tears to my eyes. It’s like I’m half paralyzed until I get to gaze upon you and profess these things you thought were beyond you. I love you more than the first breathe of air I take each morning because without you here no amount of air can cure this suffocation of the heart. So please breathe life back into these lungs of mine so once again we can show this world something more real than a tale as old as time.


P1: Please say something! You’ve got my heart held in your hand. What is it that’s your plan? You’re my sunshine yet my kryptonite tell me will I live or die tonight. Tell me I’m not crazy for loving someone I can’t even see, someone I may never get to hold again. Tell me you haven’t let go and I’m not plummeting to the ground faster than the speed of sound all while thinking we can still fly again. Let me hear the truth from you and you the truth from me. I’m so tired of playing telephone especially when your the only one I want to hear calling my phone. If you can hear all I’ve got to say and see all I’ve done for you and look me in my eyes and not tell me any lies at last I’ll know if it’s truly our demise. So please if you’re going to hold my heart or crush it at least let me know it.

P2: At the tone please record your message when you are finished recording you may hang up or press 1 for more options. *Beeeeeeeep*

P1: *Smiles & tears begin to stream down his cheek*

P1:  I love you. 

P1: *Beep*


People say actions speak louder than words. You say my words spoke volumes, but my actions spoke chapters at most. It pains me to know you didn’t understand the volumes I was speaking to you in the chapters I wrote. So I’ll Show you every action under the sun, moon & stars to show I am the one you believed in. So here I dance and sing for a world that knows not me to a play of love and tragedy. In hopes my words now acted out will show the world just what my heart is shouting out. Hoping one day my play’s review reaches you and you’ll come watch me profess my love for you. To be enchanted anew so the true stars of my play will shine forever more, it’s true stars which are me and you. Though once crossed we now collide to form a bond held forever strong. To star in the roles we were born to play, for the world to see a truly heartfelt play that tells the tale of you and I and a love so real it out last time.


Weighted Wings

I have grown wings bigger than what one can see with their eyes

With feathers that number more than the stars in night skies

With great ease I have learned to flap my wings

For through tragedy they were meant to carry me

Alas my night skies are no more

For I am grounded in a world with out air to grant me flight

So in my mind I will imagine what it means to sore through open skies

I will run for miles through barren lands and flap my wings like great big fans

Close my eyes and dream the dream to live a life among the stars

Until the day my sweet air returns granting me the lift to fly


Infinity is too small 

H: Husband     W: Wife

H:*Stares into the eyes of his love. A smile slowly creeping up the corner of his lips as the thoughts of just how perfect she was filled his mind.* 

W: *blushes* Whaaaaaaat?!?!

H: Just trying to figure out how to describe how much I love you.

W: *blushes again* How about this much? * Streches her arms to either side of her using the distance between her hands to represent how much he may love her.*

H: *Smiles warmly* Well while that is a lot dear it’s not nearly enough to represent how much I love you.

W: What about to infinity? * Smiles brightly back.*

H: Inifinity is still too small to describe how much I love you.

W: Well how can infinity be too small it’s infinite?

H: Well I already love you beyond the end of time and time is infinite. 

H: So if my love for you is already infinite and I grow to love you more each day doesn’t that mean infinity is too small to describe my love for you?

H: So again I say infinity is too small describe how much I love you.

W: So if infinity is too small how will I know how much you love me.

H: Well there’s a problem dear words can’t describe how much I love you.

W: Than how will I know? *crosses arms and pouts* Hmph!!

H: Just look into my eyes and you’ll see an eternity that goes beyond the skies.  Kiss me deeply and taste the never ending reservoir that’s is my love. Step closer and be engulfed in my ever warming embrace. Speak to me and watch me dance to the most beautiful song this world has ever known. Smile and watch the fireworks of my heart light the night sky. Lean your head against my chest and hear the beat of a thousand worlds all praising your name. Watch every second pass by so slowly it’s almost as if time has stopped just for the two of us to gaze upon the other. Watch time lose all meaning and numbers all value as I hold you in my arms tonight.

W: *Tear falls down her cheeks accompanied by a huge smile* Jerk!!!! *Slugs his shoulder* 

H: *Smiles, pulls her close. Hugs her and whispers in her ear.* So see love words can’t express my love for you, but I will spend all of eternity, beyond forever and in more than infinite ways to show each day how much I love you. 

W: *Hugs him tightly and giggles.* I guess infinity is too small.